Well I knew this day was eventually going to come. I actually can't believe we have made it this far without getting the news sooner. A couple weeks ago Scott gave me the news of our first deployment. After being in the Army for over 4 years already and never having one, I feel guilty that I am sad he is going. I have known many wives that have given up their husbands year after year. We weren't trying to hide or anything, just got attached to a hospital that doesn't deploy for our first 3 years. Can't say I hated it. However, the time has come to do what we have to do. It is a very strange feeling knowing my best friend in the whole world will not be next to me for over a year. And all that he'll be in your heart crap, or just a skype away just seems to me not good enough. I want him, in the flesh, next to me. I want to smell his bad breath, and stinky man smell, I want to kiss him and hold his hand, I want to slap him when I get mad... Lord knows he would shoot me if I slapped the MAC when I got mad! It is kind of funny from the girl who would have lived in the same house her whole life and would never have thought I missed out on anything, that my life would turn out like this. So as it begins and I try to sort out what to do with the remainder of my family. Do you go home? Where is home? Do you pack up your whole life in a cement box and pay someone to keep it? Most of my friends have already left and the ones still there will be heading out. Heck, I have already left, sorta! I have been in Florida the whole summer while Scott has been away for training. I thought I was going to be going home and settling my life back down just in time for the new school year. Instead I will be going back to the great state of WA to pack a house, hop in a minivan and drive over 3,000 miles back to Florida. Woosh, just the thought of it gives me complete exhaustion. Lucky for me I have a large loving family here in Florida. The saddest part is, without Scott I still feel lonely.